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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 19 Jul 2013 :  8:08:25 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
True story. A couple of minutes ago I stopped at the package store(don't know what others call theirs but it's a place to buy beer to take home).

When I pulled in there were two guys packing beer into the back of their pickup truck. The one guy, pretty big guy, went in before me and while I was getting my beverages out of the cooler, I heard him say to the clerk, "Hey, do you have any WD40 back there that I can borrow to spray on something to loosen it up?". She gave him a can of WD40 and he went outside.

I walked up with my beer and asked her: "Hey, do you have any Preparation H back there that I can use to tighten some stuff up?"

Her head dropped to the counter and she laughed. Oddly, no Prep H though. Go figure.

Edited by - bnorris_74 on 19 Jul 2013 8:10:43 PM
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cortcomp
Coyote

USA
5335 Posts

Posted - 19 Jul 2013 :  10:06:22 PM  Show Profile  Visit cortcomp's Homepage  Reply with Quote
LOL!


"don't know what others call theirs but it's a place to buy beer to take home)"

In Ohio it's called the gas station, grocery store, target, walmart, drive through so you don't have to get out of the car, pretty much everywhere but church.
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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 20 Jul 2013 :  6:58:20 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Or a liquor store or warehouse

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 21 Jul 2013 :  10:20:03 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So John heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.

"Hello?" says a little girl's voice.

"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says John. "Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Fred."

After a brief pause, John says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Fred, honey!"

"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"

"Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Fred that my car's just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?"

"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."

"Oh, my God! What about Uncle Fred?"

"He jumped out of bed too, and he was all scared, and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too."

There is a long pause.

"Swimming pool? Is this 555-3097?"

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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 25 Jul 2013 :  11:20:23 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
http://www.youtube.com/embed/4BMUC4Yb4z4?rel=0

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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 02 Aug 2013 :  07:44:50 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
wow give new meaning to dumb blonde.

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 07 Aug 2013 :  07:25:34 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
How do you know when your girlfriends getting fat?

She fits in your wife's clothes.
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Phil
The Great White Buffalo

USA
7215 Posts

Posted - 07 Aug 2013 :  09:17:43 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by bnorris_74

How do you know when your girlfriends getting fat?

She fits in your wife's clothes.



That's why it's good to have several at any one time so there's always a thinner one available.

Bowties are for Pee-wee Herman. "Chevy": even the name sounds cheap, but not as cheap as your Pontiac will be with an LS transplant.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 07 Aug 2013 :  2:50:42 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 08 Aug 2013 :  08:30:54 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thats how the mormons do it. lol. Bill love yours about the women parking.

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 10 Aug 2013 :  6:08:37 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 11 Aug 2013 :  1:50:31 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The return of legends:

http://www.wimp.com/looneytoons/

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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 13 Aug 2013 :  1:22:37 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Oh so close.

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 14 Aug 2013 :  1:39:22 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

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Blued and Painted
Chief PONTIAC

USA
3405 Posts

Posted - 14 Aug 2013 :  1:50:29 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
/\ /\ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76p_ncbffCE


Bull Nose Formula/ 461/ Q-Jet/
TH400/ 3.08 8.5 / R44TS.
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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 14 Aug 2013 :  1:51:01 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Nice.

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 15 Aug 2013 :  2:08:57 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

INNOCENCE IS PRICELESS

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morning Alex.' 'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is this? ' The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.'

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,

'Which service, the 8:15 or the 10:30 ?'



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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 25 Aug 2013 :  9:34:07 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
lol

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 28 Aug 2013 :  10:54:21 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Test drive


I stopped by the Chevrolet Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new Silverado 1500 pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new "feel" before they become extinct.



The salesman (a black man wearing an Obama "change" lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat describing the truck and all its" wonderful"options. The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat. Feeling like messing with him, I mentioned that this must be a Republican truck.



Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican truck.

I explained that if it were an Obama truck, the seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round.


I had to walk back to the dealership. Damn guy had no sense of humor.



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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 28 Aug 2013 :  3:25:53 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson, "You are spectacular; your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course.

What's your secret?"

Mickelson replied, "The holes are numbered."
___________________________

A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"

The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?"
The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."

The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green.
The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.

The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down."
___________________________
My favorite:

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.

The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"

"Yes" says the woman.

"Did you hit him with that golf club?""Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know -- put me down for a five."
___________________________

A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through.

Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.

As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"

The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?
___________________________

The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"

He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"

Edited by - bnorris_74 on 28 Aug 2013 5:20:32 PM
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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 28 Aug 2013 :  4:35:47 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Saw this one on a sig line from a poster at PY.

When I die, I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather.
Not screaming like the passengers in his car.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 03 Sep 2013 :  7:57:20 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/anc/3812193649.html

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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 25 Sep 2013 :  12:53:31 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
WHY OLD PEOPLE DON'T GET HIRED!

Job Interview:

Human Resources Manager: "What is your greatest weakness?"

Senior Citizen: "Honesty."

Human Resources Manager: "I don't think honesty is a weakness."

Senior Citizen: "I don't really give a $hit what you think."
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 01 Oct 2013 :  7:28:03 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
http://www.toilette-humor.com/funny_cartoons/new_san_francisco_runway.shtml

http://www.toilette-humor.com/funny_adult_humor/indecent_proposal.shtml


Edited by - Cobrabill on 01 Oct 2013 7:34:40 PM
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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 07 Oct 2013 :  4:36:22 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Week 5 NFL Scores:

Bye Week 34
Pittsburgh 3
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 07 Oct 2013 :  6:45:47 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Pittsburg-a drinking town with a football problem.

Three most used phrases in Pittsburg:

6-pack
12-pack
Steelers

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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 10 Oct 2013 :  4:42:40 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Bearly Preaching

A priest, a rabbi and a Pentecostal preacher all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk "shop". One day someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. Well, one thing led to another and before it was over they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear and preach to it.

It's now 7 days later and they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages goes first. "Wellll," he says in a fine Irish brogue, "Ey wint oot into th' wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to rread to him from the Baltimorre Chatecism. Welll, thet bearr wanted naught to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he becam as gintle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."

Reverend Billy Bob speaks next. He's in a wheel chair, with an arm and both legs in casts and an I.V. drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaims, "WELL brothers....you KNOW that we don't sprinkle........WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another untill we come to a crick. So'se I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like you you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY word."

Next, the first two both look down at the rabbi who's laying in a hospital bed. He's in a body cast & traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. The rabbi looks up and says "Oy! You don't know what tough is until you try to circumcise one of those creatures."



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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 11 Oct 2013 :  1:55:43 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugging, liberal Democrat and an anti-hunter purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA . There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree.

As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch....

In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor re-appeared.
The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"

He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a 'recreational area' so close to a Waste Treatment Facility.

And I'm sorry, but due to Obama-Care they turned you down.

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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 11 Oct 2013 :  2:03:42 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Brian, The Perfect Man
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian"

Passenger: "Like who?"

Cabbie: "Brian. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian, every single time."

Passenger: "Well, still, there are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Brian. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."

Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian, he could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never talk back to her even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished, too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian..."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his
f**king widow!"

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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 22 Oct 2013 :  12:22:41 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Global Warming Is Real

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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 02 Dec 2013 :  6:37:46 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin , Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl
about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge . So they stopped.


George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was
trying to talk her
down off the railing, and says,

"Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before
you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"


So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by
another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper,
and then says,

"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode
with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?"


"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 06 Dec 2013 :  6:41:17 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Sensuous Wife

With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, "Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?"

"No," said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top three or four buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

He took the crumpled twenty dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.

She then asked him, "Have you ever seen a fifty dollar bill all crumpled up?"

"Uh... no, I haven't," he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.


She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties...and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

He took the crumpled fifty dollar bill, and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.

"Now," she said, "have you ever seen $50,000 dollars all crumpled up?"

"No way!" he said, while obviously becoming even more aroused and excited, to which she replied............


""Go look in the garage."








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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 31 Dec 2013 :  9:18:17 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
An elderly married couple was at home watching TV.

The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.

The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said:
"For god's sake! Leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish!"

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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 01 Jan 2014 :  7:41:52 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5DMU5FWufE&feature=em-share_video_user

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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 05 Jan 2014 :  1:56:46 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Let's Piss Off Everyone


I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'


A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry about the wait'. I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually'.


I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said, 'Nope, you're still black'.



Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
I thought to myself, 'fat chance', with a face like that!

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself. I'm going to take that.


Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Iowa . He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him, where am I? The farmer looks back up and shouts back. You're in a basket you dumb crap!



I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question which I got wrong. The question was where do women have the curliest hair?
Fiji was the correct answer...hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?


I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells.
Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.



I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible,
but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
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Total Jackass
Tribal Scout

0 Posts

Posted - 14 Jan 2014 :  04:50:36 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I'm a spammer ignore this entry.

I'm a first class jerk and don't you forget it!
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Phil
The Great White Buffalo

USA
7215 Posts

Posted - 14 Jan 2014 :  6:46:58 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
TTT

Bowties are for Pee-wee Herman. "Chevy": even the name sounds cheap, but not as cheap as your Pontiac will be with an LS transplant.
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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 27 Jan 2014 :  6:34:37 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Ground Hog Day

In this New Year, 2014, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.


This is an ironic juxtaposition of events. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication.

The other involves a groundhog.





Edited by - bnorris_74 on 27 Jan 2014 6:35:42 PM
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Phil
The Great White Buffalo

USA
7215 Posts

Posted - 27 Jan 2014 :  8:20:02 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

Bowties are for Pee-wee Herman. "Chevy": even the name sounds cheap, but not as cheap as your Pontiac will be with an LS transplant.
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67drake
Sitting Duck

Azerbaijan
1501 Posts

Posted - 02 Feb 2014 :  5:30:07 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote


71' GTO Original 400 M20 3.23 posi
13.95@102.1 MPH on street tires
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67drake
Sitting Duck

Azerbaijan
1501 Posts

Posted - 02 Feb 2014 :  5:43:08 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote


71' GTO Original 400 M20 3.23 posi
13.95@102.1 MPH on street tires
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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 17 Mar 2014 :  2:30:32 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote


The CIA had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done,
there were three finalists: two men and a woman. For the final test,
the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed
him a gun.

We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the
circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a
chair.....kill her!!!

The man said "you can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife".

The agent said "then you are not the right man for this job. Take your
wife and go home.

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and
went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. The man came
out with tears in his eyes, I tried, but I can't kill my wife.

The agent said, " you don't have what it takes, so take your wife and go home.

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions,
to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots
were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, and
banging on the wall.

After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from
her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to kill
him with the chair".

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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 18 Mar 2014 :  10:14:56 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
What's ten miles long and has an I.Q. of 30?

St.Patrick's Day parade.

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Blued and Painted
Chief PONTIAC

USA
3405 Posts

Posted - 25 Mar 2014 :  11:43:42 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Tips on carberation.
http://videos2view.net/more-power.htm


Bull Nose Formula/ 461/ Q-Jet/
TH400/ 3.08 8.5 / R44TS.
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Blued and Painted
Chief PONTIAC

USA
3405 Posts

Posted - 05 Apr 2014 :  1:07:58 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Denis Leary - A*&&%$@
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrgpZ0fUixs&app=desktop


Bull Nose Formula/ 461/ Q-Jet/
TH400/ 3.08 8.5 / R44TS.

Edited by - Blued and Painted on 05 Apr 2014 1:08:33 PM
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 10 Apr 2014 :  11:08:25 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
MALE LOGIC.....FLAWLESS
Critical Thinking
At Its Best!




Woman:
Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes

Woman:
How many beers a day?

Man:
Usually about 3

Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?

Man: $5.00 which includes a tip

(This is where it gets scary !)

Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?

Man:
About 20 years, I suppose

Woman:
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting
for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man:
Do you drink beer?

Woman:
No

Man:
Where's your Ferrari?

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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 20 May 2014 :  5:02:45 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 25 Jul 2014 :  09:27:11 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I took my grandson to the bar for his first drink the other day.

I bought him a Bud, he didn't like it so I drank it.
Same with Sam Adams, didn't like it so I drank it.
Bought him several other brands and he just didn't like any of them.

By the time we got to the whiskey I had to leave. I could barely push the stroller home.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 08 Aug 2014 :  3:40:25 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A waitress in a diner walked up to a mother and her son, age approximately eight, and asked what they?d like.

Boy ?I want to devour the unborn!?

Silence?silence as this was delivered in the voice only an eight year old male has the ability to produce, high, clear and authoritative. The entire place went silent.

The mother, looking up at the waitress with utter humiliation quietly stated ?Eggs. He wants eggs.?

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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 29 Aug 2014 :  10:55:46 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

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