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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 22 Oct 2012 :  10:05:09 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Golfer "tee'd" up and wound up & swung.But just as he did,his wife walks in front of him.The ball hits her in the temple and hits the ground dead.At the coroners office,the ME tries to console him by telling him it wasn't the shot to the head that killed her.The guy goes,"Oh,thank-you doctor-that does make me feel a little better.The ME says,tthank-you-but i have one question for you.I found a a "titleist" in her rectum.Any idea how that got there?THe golfer goes,yeah.....that was my mulligan.

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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 23 Oct 2012 :  1:24:31 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
hahaha

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 30 Oct 2012 :  4:31:56 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:


A wife asks her husband,

"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk,

And if they have avocados, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."


(If you're female, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Males will get it the first time!


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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 31 Oct 2012 :  08:43:25 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
hahahaha

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 07 Nov 2012 :  1:32:51 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd7FixvoKBw&feature=youtube_gdata_player

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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 07 Nov 2012 :  2:16:29 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
That was messed up C obra B ill

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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Phil
The Great White Buffalo

USA
7215 Posts

Posted - 07 Nov 2012 :  3:37:06 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
There's truth in humor!

Bowties are for Pee-wee Herman. "Chevy": even the name sounds cheap, but not as cheap as your Pontiac will be with an LS transplant.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 08 Nov 2012 :  11:26:42 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
www.youtube.com/watch%253Fv%253DDOR9-FXdIm0" target="_blank">http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/25BHem/www.youtube.com/watch%253Fv%253DDOR9-FXdIm0

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Phil
The Great White Buffalo

USA
7215 Posts

Posted - 08 Nov 2012 :  2:29:50 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Holy Crap

Bowties are for Pee-wee Herman. "Chevy": even the name sounds cheap, but not as cheap as your Pontiac will be with an LS transplant.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 08 Nov 2012 :  6:25:06 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I refuse to believe that was a commercial actually aired-even in France.More like a "exercise in animation".

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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 08 Nov 2012 :  7:24:12 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Cobrabill

www.youtube.com/watch%253Fv%253DDOR9-FXdIm0" target="_blank">http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/25BHem/www.youtube.com/watch%253Fv%253DDOR9-FXdIm0



Keep this up and i'll be locked out of this website at work1
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 08 Nov 2012 :  8:22:23 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Sorry-not my intent.U-tube is a problem with your server?


Edited by - Cobrabill on 08 Nov 2012 8:23:03 PM
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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 09 Nov 2012 :  07:28:54 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
No youtube on my work server.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 09 Nov 2012 :  09:57:09 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Next one will have a disclaimer.

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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2012 :  10:13:46 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The T.S.A. disclosed the Airport Screening Results

June 2012 Statistics On Airport Screening From The Department Of Homeland Security:
Terrorists Discovered 0
Transvestites 133
Hernias 1,485
Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172
Enlarged Prostates 8,249
Breast Implants 59,350
Natural Blondes 3

It was also discovered that 535 members of Congress had no balls.
Thought you'd like to know.
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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 15 Nov 2012 :  09:58:12 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I like that one Brian

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 15 Nov 2012 :  10:33:37 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

BBC NEWS

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."

Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are so few virgins in their areas anyway.

According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages.


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Blued and Painted
Chief PONTIAC

USA
3405 Posts

Posted - 15 Nov 2012 :  12:01:28 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Very funny, LOL.


Bull Nose Formula/ 461/ Q-Jet/
TH400/ 3.08 8.5 / R44TS.
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BearGFR
Bear

USA
580 Posts

Posted - 15 Nov 2012 :  7:48:58 PM  Show Profile  Visit BearGFR's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Stolen, without apologies:

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches long the road.

I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scumbag who got what he deserved. And he yelled back that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left wing Commie who isn't even an American. So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, "Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!"

"And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us."


Bear
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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 16 Nov 2012 :  08:38:10 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
hahahaha to all of them.

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 16 Nov 2012 :  12:14:52 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e5w64ueVKM&feature=youtu.be

Hitler finds out his E-body is a fake.


BNORRIS WARNING!!!!!!!Youtube clip.

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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 16 Nov 2012 :  5:14:29 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Yo that was sooo funny I laugh throu the whole vid.

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 16 Nov 2012 :  6:15:59 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Cobrabill




BNORRIS WARNING!!!!!!!Youtube clip.



OK I get it.

No worries on youtube or content. I was just being a smarta$$.

Carry on.

P.S.
My second love is Mopars so thanks for the clip. Funny.

I spent (and I meant spent) my youth in a 1970 Barracuda 318 3spd stick on the floor. I miss that car even though it is not considered disireable by anyone's standards.

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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 16 Nov 2012 :  8:06:32 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My first car was a 72 340/4-speed 'Cuda.Getting laid in the back of that car was a cross between sexual athletics and self abuse.

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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 16 Nov 2012 :  8:06:44 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
CB
The white stuff is snow

Arizona sand.

Wish I could think of inventions like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwpKjEa4LYY&feature=player_embedded
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 18 Nov 2012 :  4:43:42 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I git it...................

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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 18 Nov 2012 :  10:10:03 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJqDPaf31Gw&feature=em-share_video_user

My kinda cat.

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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 18 Nov 2012 :  10:38:41 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote


This was a post to a story about Madoff's kid killing himself.

"Very sad. Madoff's Ponzi scheme was not a just one man show. It was a CIA based and operated scheme. Very few people know that CIA was a private Jewish organization created by Jews after World War II and became a contractor for US in developing and running US foreign Policy. On 911 It failed to overthrow US elected government and start a World War III because flight 93 did not reach its intended target The White House and Capital Hill. Thanks to Colin Powell who over threw CIA and replaced it with Home Land Security. There are hundred of other schemes like this one to surface in the time to come. God Bless America."

This idiot no doubt voted Dumocrat

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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 20 Nov 2012 :  12:30:44 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You can't make this stuff up:

I went into a restaurant near the yard and found out i had no cash on me.So i used my CC.All my CC's say Bill(as opposed to William)on them.When i moved to Az.the state mandates that the name on your DL HAS TO match your BC.So,the waitress asks for my ID.Fine with me.SHe looks at them and says:"This one says"William" and this one says "Bill"-they don't match.

fast forward to this A.M.We're in a rush,so we stop at the Mexican phone company(Taco Bell).THe wife orders this breakfast wrap thingy and says,NO potato-just egg & sauage.So it shows up with hashbrowns in it.So my wife takes it back and the guy at the counter says:"Those are hashbrowns-not potato's.

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Blued and Painted
Chief PONTIAC

USA
3405 Posts

Posted - 20 Nov 2012 :  1:06:13 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
avocado anyone.


Bull Nose Formula/ 461/ Q-Jet/
TH400/ 3.08 8.5 / R44TS.
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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 20 Nov 2012 :  1:39:34 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Potato, huh.

That explains why my bong won't stay lit.
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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 20 Nov 2012 :  6:50:30 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
hahahaha got to love it.

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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Blued and Painted
Chief PONTIAC

USA
3405 Posts

Posted - 21 Nov 2012 :  4:04:34 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote


Bull Nose Formula/ 461/ Q-Jet/
TH400/ 3.08 8.5 / R44TS.
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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 23 Nov 2012 :  10:01:24 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
That will be Cobrabill.

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 23 Nov 2012 :  10:14:58 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Easy with the old guy crap!

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Blued and Painted
Chief PONTIAC

USA
3405 Posts

Posted - 23 Nov 2012 :  10:35:24 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Just be sure to keep your junk IN your under shorts


Bull Nose Formula/ 461/ Q-Jet/
TH400/ 3.08 8.5 / R44TS.

Edited by - Blued and Painted on 23 Nov 2012 10:41:30 PM
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 24 Nov 2012 :  1:53:44 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 25 Nov 2012 :  09:19:28 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
It is only cause I like you Bill.

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 29 Nov 2012 :  11:38:20 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.



The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.



The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"



In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."



A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost.

I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."



They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that crap again

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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 30 Nov 2012 :  09:40:17 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
RLMFAO yo that is Great Bill.

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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js292
Sitting Bull

USA
128 Posts

Posted - 30 Nov 2012 :  12:03:12 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
good stuff, people walking by my office are giving me strange looks for laughing at my screen.



71 Formula 455
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 01 Dec 2012 :  5:00:30 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
That's what this is all about.

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Phil
The Great White Buffalo

USA
7215 Posts

Posted - 01 Dec 2012 :  6:22:20 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, I'm
here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.

That's quite a coincidence, said the engineer. I'm here because my house and
all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.

The lawyer looked somewhat confused. How do you start a flood?" he asked.

Bowties are for Pee-wee Herman. "Chevy": even the name sounds cheap, but not as cheap as your Pontiac will be with an LS transplant.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 06 Dec 2012 :  1:54:08 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Yn0ey0vePwI&vq=medium

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bnorris_74
Crazy Horse

USA
1442 Posts

Posted - 09 Dec 2012 :  12:26:38 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzoFqumBCvY
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 09 Dec 2012 :  7:51:55 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
http://www.viddler.com/v/c4d8a4fe

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rad400
War Paint

USA
1251 Posts

Posted - 11 Dec 2012 :  08:57:06 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
cool vids.

Conrad
79 Trans Am 400 auto Crower 60210 Torker II Holley 750 vac sec. #12 heads,3500 stall.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 14 Dec 2012 :  10:44:22 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Guy meets this chick in a bar and says:Yer as cute as my little toe".SHe replies,:"Is that because i'm short and cute?"He says:"Nope-it's because when i go home drunk,i'm gonna bang you on my coffee table".

Phil-how's that black half-ton Pick-up workin' for ya?

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Phil
The Great White Buffalo

USA
7215 Posts

Posted - 14 Dec 2012 :  12:15:22 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
How's that black half ton Pickup workin for me? How's that black half ton Pickup workin for me? I'll tell how that black half ton Pickup is workin for me: I'm STILL off solid food! That's how that black half ton Pickup is workin for me! Happy now Bill??

Bowties are for Pee-wee Herman. "Chevy": even the name sounds cheap, but not as cheap as your Pontiac will be with an LS transplant.
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Cobrabill
Talking Dog

Aruba
3128 Posts

Posted - 14 Dec 2012 :  12:51:56 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

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